Sry I called you an 8
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
