You can't special order awesome
he puts the penis in happiness.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize