Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
