I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
