i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
