***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
