How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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