Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
