Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
