Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
