thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
