Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Less talking, more tequila
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
