I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
