Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
