no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
In other news, I just burned my penis
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
