sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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