I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just forgot I was standing up.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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