I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
