i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
