I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
