im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize