I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
