so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
someone get that fucking seahorse.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
where does the pee come out of this thing
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize