VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
My ATM looks so different sober.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
