if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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