Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize