I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
