Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
