All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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