Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
