We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
