After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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