Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
