so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
