so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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