I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Can i not drive my cunt home
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
