no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
did i walk over a car last night?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
