His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
