I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
