I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
