Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
