She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize