Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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