I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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