Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
did you just send me my own nude
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
