i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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