Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
And my parents said I crawled through the house
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
