Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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