Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
