I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
When did angry sex become our thing?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
