apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
