I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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