No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
