I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
