batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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