p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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