Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
