I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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