bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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