i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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