i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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