While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
