Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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