The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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