She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
