You made me cry and you don't even care
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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