There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
