I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
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