the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
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