i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
