Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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