If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
we're making bets on your personal life
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
