i was rollin on her like bob the builder
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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