You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
